Priority's

Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. I had a reality check today and did not like what i saw. I am so busy all the time, more than when i worked, how can that be. I did these things, worked, took care of a horse, children, cleaned, cooked,and still had time to paint. I feel like i can't get caught up. I think i need to let go of some of the less important things, stop being so picky . I'm striving for perfection and loosing out on things that really matter. What matters? Not spending enough time with my Son and grandchildren that live seven miles away, not taking time out to just relax and smell the roses, that's just the beginning of what I'm not doing. When and how did this come about? Life only comes around once, no second chances. My head is always thinking about the "what i have to do's" Pathetic as it seems, it is my own fault. Everyday life is stressful as it is and i make it worse by not "taking time" to "take time". I have to do some major prioritizing. I want to start painting again, its been to long, something that has always relaxed me an let my creative juices flow. I feel as if i may have "lost my touch". I go to bed late because my mind is so full sorting out the day. I get up early to get going again, its just a vicious cycle. If i plan a day to do nothing something surly comes up and there i go again instead of saying no, not today. I have to learn the word NO again. When I'm gone no one will know or care about what i didn't say or do, only what i did say or do. It's 2am and here i sit exhausted. That's why I'm blogging to myself, having written this rambling down makes me understand how important it is to prioritize my life better. Exhaustion only makes me feel less patient and understanding of the ones that i really care about, then the guilt takes over! I should delete this, but then isn't that what i have been doing, deleting what is important?