Just Me

I turn the music up
I shut the world outside
I feel my heart start beating to
my favorite songs
Only i can see the invisible
I can only stay a while
for the world is still waiting
when I return

This Time Of Year

This time of year
memories flood my mind
childhood, caroling, hot
chocolate, trips to the
mountains, visiting the
elderly, all this and more
with my church "family".
The innocent fun filled
times, forever in the
book of memories
in my mind

The Ugly Tree

A little girl at
a Christmas tree
lot, sitting beside
a blue tree, crying,
wanting odd colored
tree so badly, her
tears falling so fast
they fell on the ground
As the parents were
looking for the tall
tree they had come for
she sat beside this tree
begging, it was expensive,
not needed and not in
the budget.
The old man selling the
trees came over and watched
her for a while with a puzzled
look on his face. As the
parents had picked there's
and were paying, explaining
to her this was to much
unnecessary expense, she cried
even harder. Finlay she said
but mommy no one will buy
this little tree, it is blue and small
and it will be so sad.
The man looked at her
with this warm smile and
said i will discount it for
her, still not in expensive
but the tree was in her
room that night, with
her sitting beside it as if
were a pet, talking to it
saying it's OK now your
not ugly to me, with the biggest
smile on her face.
My daughter grew up
with the same sweetness
as she was then,,,,less the
tears.

Thanksgiving

As they came
full of joy
pillows and
blankets and
special toys
to give thanks
to God and
family
they eat and
joke and reminisce
while smelling
of food that they
will soon partake
the evening all
are content and
slumber off to
dream
Morning comes
they partake again
the day repeats
and then they are
gone
left are the memories
of another
Thanksgiving
with love to
remember till
we see them
again

Autumn Leaves

As the beauty
of the Autumn
leaves fall
to the earth
the trees go
to sleep for
the winter
to awaken
again in the
spring, bigger
stronger
the smell of
the burning
leaves a
reminder winter
is near

The Squirrel

Squirrels are,,, well cute
but not as they are
feasting on my plants
One has taken up
residence under the
shed. He/She does not
pay rent, comes out
to drink from the
fountain, and eat from
the buffet. I Plugged up
the hole that it uses to
come in and out of, to
no avail. It even moved
the turtle made of statuary.
Little critters can be such
a bother, but I don't have
the heart to
put out the toxins that others
do. As i watch this critter
i think, It has a right to
live here too.
Humm what to do???
This is a love hate
relationship.
Maybe i should try a
big bowl of nuts
then again there is the
spring,,,,,,, Ohhhhhhhh

Another Visit With Nature

Nature has so many lessons
of life to teach us
The beauty of nature is
not man made, and for me
not taken for granted
I love the sunshine on my
skin, the overwhelming
warmth in my soul, the
sunset at the end of each day
Everyday is a portal to my
evolution

A Learning

Life is about trusting,
feelings, taking chances,
loosing's and findings,
memories and learning.
If you learn one thing
a day that's an
accomplishment to
be proud of.
If you are aware
you will find that
there is at least one
thing in that period
that is new to you,
therefore a learning.

Devils Playground

The Kelso Dunes are notable for the phenomenon known as
"singing sand" or "blooming dunes". It has some of the highest
dunes as much as 600 feet.
The magnificent dunes form only a small part of a much larger
sand transport system that includes the Devils Playground.
There is a larger area of eolian sand deposits within the
Mojave National Preserve. Wind is mostly derived from
the Mojave River.
We used to go there with homemade dune buggy's and a large
group of others. Each taking there bragging rights as to which
buggy would go faster, climb better, looked better.
These particular dunes were unlike the dunes at Glamis,
with there infamous "Oldsmobile Hill", down by Brawly.
They were so tall and sharply peaked, we called them razor backs.
As you climbed to the top the buggy would come over and the front
end would drop sharply down.
There were what we called "bowls", a deep bowl shaped hole.
When you went down into the bowl many times you had to go round
and round to get back out. If you slid down whether it be the buggy or
your rear end that's when you would hear the singing sand.
Night riding was the blackest of black, with only the headlights of
a trail of buggies. We were most always in the lead, doing what we
we called ridge running, where you zigzag back and forth over the
top of the dune. I would never have found my way back, day or night
to camp, but others had an uncanny way of knowing. Once there
we sat around a huge campfire and told tales of the day.
If the winds would blow at night the camper would rock to and fro.
Those winds could be quite ferocious. In the morning as you stepped
out, it was amazing. The dunes were smooth and looked as though
nothing or no one had been there. Ridges of swirling sand making
patterns as if they were whipped cream, always taking on new form.
Daytime storms were worse, the sand stung as it hit your face, always
wearing goggles and covering the face , some would set out for a
morning run.
In those days with limited money for pleasure, fixing a buggy was
beg and borrow. Many times we took parts we took parts off our
Volkswagen to use on the buggy for the weekend, then put it back
for work on Monday.
There are a lot of good memories from those days, not much money,
but a family together making memories.

See Smell Imagine

I can imagine walking
musing and day dreaming
beauty all around
soft sounds of leaves falling
crackling of branches
a rustling of animals in
the falling leaves.
the wonderful smell of earth
brisk air
maybe a stream near by
not a thought of losing
my way
yes i can imagine

Rice Terraces

Rice terraces resemble stained glass in Yunnan Province in southern China, where human activities began with the reshaping of hillsides into grand staircases of grain. Rice stubble left to decay in the field, manure, and fish raised in the paddy water all add nutrients to the area’s soil.

Pictures

Pictures are a pause
in time, they cannot
be duplicated, that
second is frozen
never to be again.
That memory to be
seen again, but never
relived.
As I looked at these
memories my mind
became overwhelmed
with people, places
things of which brought
back time in  my mind.
As I sat losing track of
time, enjoying the feeling
of being "there".

Weaver Of Tales

Once upon a time,
in a lush land that sits
just north of the equator,
an engineer and a composer
gave the gift to the world
to there only daughter,,,,,,,

The lost Art of story telling.
the stirring memories of stories
at bedtime and a period of rest,
are relived and revived by a woman
named Angela Loyd,,, http://www.angelalloyd.com/ . Her story is
and interesting read, as she
continues to tell these tales.
She has been invited to the
National Storytelling Festival
in Jonesborough Tennessee where
she will bring her unique mixture
of narrative and song, strumming
on her beloved washboard as she
stands beneath her "sunbrella",
blue eyes ever crinkled into a smile.

Storm

A sudden storm
thunder, lightning,
rain, wind.
I sit and watch,
listen.
The smell of rain,
the power, energy
of the lightning,
pleasing contentment.

A brilliant woman
A simple man
An unusual child
It works!

Clouds

As I lay on
the fresh groomed
grass, i look up
at the clouds,
finding images.
As you stare
they become
realistic, then
as they move
images change..
Smell the grass,
look up, let you
mind go.

Ever Changing

The leaves are falling
much to my dismay
It seems they just arrived
now there slowly going away
Like the ever changing butterfly
this is how it is to be
time for change
never to stay just for me
There is beauty in every season
I just have to look around
for like the changing butterfly
It will be there it will be found

Up There

As I stand out looking
up, stars so bright
I wonder.
What's really up
there beyond what
we know, see.
My mind goes
places that wouldn't
seem normal to some.
As the years pass
we find more and more
"up there".
We will never know
all the I wonders, I
feel it is not for us to
know everything, not
in my lifetime.
It is fascinating to
let my mind free
to wonder.

Amazing

As a star falls toward a black hole, it is ripped apart by intense tides. The gas is corralled into a disk that swirls around the black hole and becomes rapidly heated to temperatures of millions of degrees.

Death As Well As Life

When you walk through a forest

 that has not been tamed

 and interfered with by man,

 you will see not only abundant

 life all around you, but you will

 also encounter fallen trees and

decaying trunks, rotting leaves

 and decomposing matter

 at every step. Wherever you look,

 you will find death as well as life.

  Decomposing tree trunk and

 rotting leaves give birth to new life,

 but are life themselves.

 So death isn't to be found anywhere.

I Am

When you lose touch

 with inner stillness,

 you lose touch with yourself.

When you lose touch

with yourself,

 you lose yourself in the world.

Your innermost sense of

self, of who you are,

is inseperable from stillness.

This is the I AM that is

deeper than a name form.

 

And in the end,
its not the years
in your life that
count.
It's the life in
your years.

As we age and our Birthday
comes around again, do you
feel or look older on that day,
I think not. You can reflect
back and remember your
younger years and there
memories, then look at now
and the memories, you have
made since then.
One thing no one can take
from you is your memories.
Relish in them!

Beyond Beauty

Beyond the beauty,

 there is more,

 something that cannot be named,

 something ineffable,

 some deep, inner, holy essence.

 Whenever and wherever there is beauty,

 this inner essence shines through somehow.

 It only reveals itself to you when you are present.

In My Mind

The pungent smell of the soil
like no other, the rain forrest
with its quiet beauty.
As I remember so vividly
the most unusual surroundings
plants, flowers, moss, different
from the ordinary.
Stopping to just stare, mind trying
to absorb everything, wanting
never to forget.
Tall trees make a tunnel
slight sunlight around the outside
not dark in the tunnel, a feeling
of comfort surrounds me.
Most of all the earthy smells,
again nature showing off.
I can go there in my mind
when I feel the need.
One day I may have a
chance to be there again.
One of my favorite places
to be, where the forrest
meets the sea.

Creating Nature

As I look around seeing
the beauty I have planted
steadily growing, I watch
the humming birds and the
butterflies taking advantage
of the beauty as well.
As I think, I have helped
to create nature, a new
plant, trees, a cutting
from an existing one.
With satisfaction I sit
and and enjoy the fruits
of my labor along with
my little friends.

Distracted

Sometimes your mind is so full
you cannot write down what
you feel, this distraction
is like a slide show going ever so
fast. Concentration is not to be
had. So as i sit here time
after time in frustration nary
a sentence can I write.
Now that i have broken my
silence, maybe, just maybe
i can put my words to fingers
and continue on.

Spread Your Wings

As I took her hands
In mine and looked
into her eyes I could
see, feel the wanting
of understanding.
I'm not going to tell
you not to go, her eyes
told me, you understand.
Go spread your wings
learn how to fly on you
own. The boy's heart is
broken, he had asked her
to marry him, her parents
were begging her, please
don't go so far away.
Her mind set, she is leaving
soon. Go find out who you
are, what you want, have no regrets
I said. Spread those wings and fly
on your own. No one understands,
she remarks I just have to.
A lump in my throat as I say
It's OK, I see in your eyes, feel
your heart, go my dear granddaughter
spread those wings, learn, feel,
experience. As we parted I said
a prayer, let her spread her wings
but keep watch if she should stray.

Perfection

Perfection, an illusion

a moving target like the horizon

you never get there but you keep

going towards it anyway

you cannot be perfect if the concept

does not exist

Q & A

Not to understand
is not to question
not to question
is not to understand
Some questions
are not to be
answered.
Minds not to
be alike may not
hear the question
in the same way
so the answer
to the same question
may not be the same

Feelings

Peoples feelings can be easily

 compared to a barrier which

 is  to be meant to block

or impede something from coming

 in or going out.

 A type of temporary fencing which

 sometimes is also meant to attenuate

 impact. The problem is, the impact

 is assumed to be a negative one.

As time passes, people surround

 themselves with this emotional

 sub-conscious barrier which exists

 to prevent them to feel pain.

  I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

The Seed

Me, a seed
planted with
loving care
watered, fed,
no matter what
kind.
Another seed
put randomly
in the ground,
rarely watered
or fed.
In the garden
of life fed
with faith as
a seedling,
grown and nurtured
with the knowing
of God , the love
of which the other
seed gets none, it
withers!

No Two Alike

No person is a label
you are the only person
like you in this world
good or bad no one is
just like me.
Life is to be experienced
the bad and the good in
a person is just experiences.

As the full moon
crested over the
mountain behind
me, the stunning
views as it went
higher and higher.
As I sat out on this
warm night watching
as it seemed to change
views and hues, staring
my mind as ever,
wondering.

.

Alone

As I Ly beside the creek
the warm fresh air surrounds
me. Alone with just my thoughts,
rambling musings flowing through
my mind. Hearing the water softly
flow, natures sounds, birds, animals,
even a fish jumps up to say hello.
Calmness envelops  me. As I glance
around at all this beauty, I smile
for inside I feel the most inner peace,
God is speaking as I quietly listen.
I say softly come sit a while, take pride.
Not to stay long, I am left alone again,
alone to resume my thoughts.
Alas I awaken from my dream, and I smile,
to myself, I will be back,,,,,,,,Alone.

Assumption

Assuming the assumption was right
when all along what I assumed was
wrong all along. I hope not to assume
again what I do not know as fact, for
assumptions can surly be something
of ruin.

Wind

You nor I can see the wind
we can feel it brush against
our body, we can see it as
the trees sway. The wind
has an anger to it, in my eyes
tossing things awry, birds
going nowhere, dust in your
eyes. There is an anxiety
in me as I go about my way.

Just Nature

Birds and bees
flowers and trees
nesting and blooming
never assuming
Watching them grow
I'm all aglow
Eggs to hatch
so tiny, they are
females never to far.
Nature knows how
much she pleases me
she puts on a show
as I smile with glee!

SAY WHAT!!!

Routine Echo Cardiogram
have one every year, looks
good but think you should
have a cardiolite stress test,
go for results, humm you need
an Angiogram, blood not getting
to the bottom left side of your heart
SAY WHAT!! You need to read that
again,,,, I eat well, not overweight
walk two miles a day, SAY WHAT!!
Humm let me think about it,,,,, not
an option, SAY WHAT!!
OK maybe in a couple of weeks?
Humm maybe not, more like one
SAY WHAT!! HUMMMM

Only One

As they rejoice in the streets
feeling that justice has been
done, family's feeling a sigh
of long time coming.
But make no mistake this
is just one of many, waiting,
waiting for another chance
to do the same or worse.
This is indeed historic,
but by no means over.
This is why I have a sadness
deep inside, this was only one,
one of many, waiting, planning.
The bravery of our military is
beyond words for me. How they
must have felt, what went through
there minds as this mission
took place. I believe praying
to God for safety and deliverance.
As God looked over them, what
was he thinking, after all this was
only one!

The Poem

Douglas, Douglas, Tender and True


By Dinah Maria Craik

Could you come back to me, Douglas, Douglas,

In the old likeness that I knew,

I would be so faithful, so loving, Douglas,

Douglas, Douglas, tender and true.





Never a scornful word should grieve ye,

I’d smile on ye sweet as the angels do,—

Sweet as your smile on me shone ever,

Douglas, Douglas, tender and true.





Oh, to call back the days that are not!

My eyes were blinded, your words were few;

Do you know the truth now up in heaven,

Douglas, Douglas, tender and true?





I never was worthy of you, Douglas;

Not half worthy the like of you:

Now all men beside seem to me like shadows—

I love you, Douglas, tender and true.





Stretch out your hand to me, Douglas, Douglas,

Drop forgiveness from heaven like dew;

As I lay my heart on your dead heart, Douglas,

Douglas, Douglas, tender and true.

How, Why

She sat in the front row looking frail,
frightened, emotions flowing, his casket
just above her, I have never felt the sadness
that I have felt today.
I felt her feelings so strongly, totally taken by
surprise at my feelings.
I have been to many funerals and felt sadness
but NEVER like this.
They were married 67 years, a full happy life.
At 90 some would say he was old, not surprising
that he would die, but to her this was her life above
her, gone, a shell but left.
With family and friends around her I could feel her loneliness,
It seemed as though I were connected to her soul.
At times hard to breathe I listened to the words being said
by the Minister, yet couldn't keep my eyes off of her, I could
not disconnect. As a poem was read, it said what she would have.
As she went up to say goodbye I had to leave, I could not stay
a moment longer. Her words to him were more than I could bear,
I must get away, I must breathe. The words to the poem kept running
through my mind, not understanding why this connection was
still there, i knew i had to some way distance myself, break this
connection. As i left with others to go to the grave site, I took in the
fresh air like i had not taken a breath in such a long time. That poem
still fresh, still haunting. Outside as the connection was finally distanced
still reeling from this sureal experince I wonderd, Why, how.

Always

Gandhi: Whenever I despair, I remember that the way of truth and love has always won. There may be tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they may seem invincible, but in the end, they always fail. Think of it: always.

The Lines

As I look in the mirror


with a smile upon my face

The lines I see tells the

story of my life.

The lines are some that

have brought me much joy

like my memories.

Others the sadness we

all go through.

The lines tell me who I am

No one knows where we

might end up, but the lines

show were where we have been.

Script

If you could rewrite your script
would you?

Would you change your character,

would you change your lines,

If you had the chance to do

it all over again would you?

Would you create new memories

and forget the old.....

Maybe just a few out takes or

enhancements would suffice,,,,,

It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade. - Charles Dickens

Just before I Sleep

As I wonder off to sleep
my mind wonders
world in chaos, sadness
comes over me
never knowing what
tomorrow will bring
then it goes to other things
where there's quiet
and beauty and thinking
this is the first day of spring
as i drift further and imagine
the things of nature soon
will appear, a smile I will
take to sleep and pray the
Lord my soul to keep.

Technology

Technology allows us to watch
live as nature unleashes it power.
Amazing as it is, to be able to
see first hand, it is heart wrenching
as well. Nature not always kind
shows us how powerless we are.
As I watch a tsunami coming ashore
feelings of helplessness overwhelms
me. Yes i could with one button
turn away from this technology, go back
to my world. I cannot, for within me
something keeps watching, wondering
feeling.

Newborn

The feel of softness from
a new born babe
the smell unlike no other
there first cry
the way they respond to
your loving touch
Unknowing of the world
around them
Selfish, only knowing
of hunger and pain
From the moment they
are born, the love you
feel astonishes even you
Being overwhelmed
because there
are TWO!

Discovery

When we open our eyes
to nature, we see that things
around us are never the same,
and we discover-each hour,
each day, each year new things
we didn't know and new creations
that have there own stories
to tell.
There is just so much more,,,
more than a lifetime of discovery!

Spring Cleaning

Like spring cleaning it's time to throw out the useless "junk" in my mind. Benefiting no one, taking up precious space. Like spring cleaning some things are hard to be rid of, but a must do. Sometimes it can be a sad parting, but just for a while, after all "it" was quite comfortable in there.

Imagination

Imagine no imagination no curiosity, no feelings. Like a piece of lost matter just living, breathing, eating, a routine of sameness, useless to anyone, anything. Imagine that!!

Fire, Fuel, Curiosity

A curious mind is to learn and unlearn. Curiosity "meta" interest combines the ability to think in an abstract way, leading to fantasy and imagination and reason, exploration and learning. Curiosity is fuel that flames a natural fire. The fire within me burns with intense curiosity, and fuel to feed it.

Think you know?

You think you know, but think again you know nothing, not where nor when It's not you that controls or demands

God will laugh if you make plans

Like an erratic butterfly my mind goes fast and tries to deny The journey were on you do not have say all you can do is.............. PRAY

Perfect Place

The perfect place for me is where the Forrest meets the sea quiet as I see, smell, feel nature around me It fills me, makes me me

More Pictures

Some pictures are like flashes of light they come and go then out of sight Some come and stay a while they warm my heart and make me smile Some linger for an infinite time I go to a favorite place of mine Some come as i sleep there the ones i long to keep Pictures like memories always there somethings not to share

Pictures

We live by the pictures in our minds the unconscious ones close behind These pictures are of all we do constantly living through and through Like a blueprint of our being they create with in us seeing with in us our lives past, present for we cannot live if they do not exist

Longing

Longing for spring to hear the birds sing trees to leaf flowers to bloom, wont be to soon for I long for nature to show her glow just for me as I love it so The warm sun flows down on me as I bask in her beauty for me to see

Social Networking

Silly me, thinking being on a social networking site would be a great idea to keep in close touch with my grand children. Maybe not! The older ones put things on there that I really do not care to know, lest alone there language. They post to much information for this grandmother. I don't care to know there every move, where they are, what they ate. The conversations with there friends are at times another "language", that I am not familiar with, not abbreviated or computer chat, just there own "code" i suppose. I guess I can only be thankful that my friends are not there friends or I would have to "UN-friend them.

Just Thinking

I am not an object, and there for who am I? Simply, I Am. Thinking starts with knowledge, It is the understanding of what you think about. The human thinking processes are sophisticated and error prone. Humans don't think about the world, they think about there representations of the world.

It Still Exists

Today reminded me of an older friend that has since passed. She was black, a doctor at UCLA. In the days of segregation, she could not go into certain restaurants with her colleagues due to her race. They would all leave with a few choice words left behind. She never said a word, telling me she was use to it. With all of her education and what should have been prestige, only her family and colleagues could appreciate it. The curious person that I am began to ask many questions. She would answer as i would feel my heart sink at the answers she gave. She never said she was bitter, just talked in a matter of fact way. If we were out shopping especially in a high end store, I was asked to be waited on, she wouldn't. She was the one set out to buy those expensive things, and did, not hesitating as she went about picking them out. As she went to pay a look of astonishment came across the sales persons face. I was beside myself with fury, she just took it in stride. I at one time expressed my dislike in shall we say UN-lady like way. She told me quietly, no need for you to get so upset, "it happens". I have never been a prejudice person and do not understand what the color of ones skin has to do with the person themselves. Even after all the years and Martin Luther King's accomplishments, it still exists. I see it more often than it should be. Although it gets better as the years pass, "It still exists"!

The mind is its own place, and of its self, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven

The quiet of snow falling,

like feathers floating, the crisp air, the beauty, I call this, "BLISS"

One Day

As one year goes and another begins, there is no visible change If not for a calender it would go unnoticed The earth still rotating not caring what the year Folks have hope for better times No miracles from one day that says 2010 to another that says 2011 Resolution's are made Prayers are prayed willing the future to leave them unscathed